The Original Matrix

Bernadette Judaea
5 min readNov 4, 2022

The moon is moving through a conjunction with both Neptune and Jupiter in Pisces today.

Photo by JOSHUA COLEMAN on Unsplash

As I said in my video for the day, I expect to be able to use dreams to talk about this transit. Instead, I had to resort to Renn Butler (as I so often do) to be able to articulate the embodiment of such mystical energy.

“Feelings of faith and wonder, grand ideals and vision, heightened intuition, perception of synchronicities, exalted dreams. An expansive inner life, a rich and zany imagination, outpourings of creative expression. Dreams-come-true optimism, feelings of ultimate safety, a sense of being buoyed or lifted from within, blissful states of cosmic unity, reconnection with divine consciousness. Qualities of forgiveness and tolerance, altruism and generosity, broad-ranging kindness and compassion, transcendence of factionalism, human compassion that transcends creed or affiliation.”

-The Archetypal Universe, Renn Butler

I almost couldn’t sleep last night with how giddy I was feeling. I cleaned part of the pavilion where my grandpa keeps his junk. Its not just his junk but its a bunch of stuff. Clutter. I finally cleared one side completely. It wasn’t the intention I’d set for the day. I kept feeling called to use my body to do something. Instead of sitting at the computer and working in the virtual space, I needed to use my hands and rewire parts of my brain. Walking around in the neighborhood, I used a trick to deliberately mix up my mind. For a while I was switching the water to cold really quickly at the end of my shower and just breathing through the temperature change. It jolts my body and sometimes its difficult to catch my breath. I have attempted to enjoy this kind of torture. That’s the sadistic way to use the trick.

Cleaning was productive. It actually did open up new pathways in my mind. I admired my work long after the sun went down. This morning, when I woke up, I admired it even more before the sun came back up. I have so many ideas for how to use the space. It could be a loft. We could build stairs. We could close it in for a play room and a space for me to stretch and meditate during the winter; that’s been the dreaming. That’s the Pisces coming through. I might credit Mars in Gemini with my cleaning spree, because, again he’s stationed at 25°.

My experience with emotions is that I search my mind for them. I try to remember how I was feeling in my body. I’m not so sure everyone has to do it this way. I attribute this procedure with my natal moon being in Aquarius: the objective, always analytical, Saturn-ruled sign of the humanitarian. The moon is experience that we have with the emotions. It is the container within which things happen. It is, in fact, the matrix. You could think of it as the womb. Its the original matrix (one reason I don’t believe the name of my YouTube playlist can remain what it is). Perhaps something such as “The OG Matrix” is more appropriate for what the womb represents, but definitely not fitting with the overall mood of my contemplations, I would think.

Since the moon moves very quickly (relative to the other planets), this might just feel like a revving of the imagination. This particular lunar transit is not fun for those that need to be getting shit done. There’s a bit of a mist in the air. A haziness in the sky. A veil hanging overhead. Personally, I’m enjoying it. I’ve thought about it many times, how fortunate I feel in this time of my life. I’m very blessed to have a family that is patient, loving, and supportive. The fact that I have no money is a fair exchange for the amount of love I’ve received in my life. At 31, I already feel complete in my need to share in a partnership with a husband. I was never married but I did experience a long intimate relationship with someone. I shared deep passionate love with someone. I knew someone enough to communicate in ways other than using words. I melded with someone. Now I am recognizing I do that with my environment. I become one with it, in the same way we acknowledge becoming one with a partner in matrimony. The moon is that environment.

For me, this is happening in the 10th House which is a house associated with our career or debut into society. It makes sense. I’ve created a YouTube channel where I am building a series. I am documenting the planetary transits, which is something I’d love to be involved with as a career. That’s right, I said it. I want to be a cosmic observer. What better way to get a job later than to be like, “Look at all this content I already made… here’s your resume.” I have to notice where this is an illusion that is propelling me in a direction which will still be everything I could’ve ever hoped for, maybe even more than I could dream of from where I am standing now. A mirage is drawing me in for a drink. If I must endure more nights in the desert, I should embrace this reprieve from the tension of the eclipse.

My dad has this line he always kept in mind while he was working overseas in contracting positions. “I was looking for a job when I found this one.” I think this is meant to mean that he had options. I’m there right now. Looking for a job but also feeling like I’ve got it bagged, whatever it is. Future Sarah is likely getting involved here, right? Quelling any fears I have of the coming eclipse. If she’s reading this now, she’s most certainly meditating on this time period. In which case we’ll be thinking about each other at the same time. Time is weird.

Originally written in Collective Journaling at The Stoa