The Life and Death of Papa Bill
Accompanied by the Astrology
Papa was the name for my dad’s adoptive father.
He was a simple man, with lots of experience getting in to all kinds of trouble, and pissing my granny off. But he loved to make people laugh. He would bring my sister and me a bouquet of tootsie roll lollipops or various other sweets that he was addicted to. He would purposely answer questions incorrectly while we watched Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune on one of the several TVs he rigged together.
He would always joke about the imaginary boyfriends he made up for my sister and me. He cleverly named them Julio and Julio (pronounced Hoo-lee-oh and Ju-lee-oh), which is especially funny because it is the same name twice, but we never knew that growing up. This was his style of playful banter. Simple but clever. “Hoo-lee-oh and Ju-lee-oh called to talk to you two!” or whatever shenanigans he could make up about them for that day. He always came up with hilarious one-liners about everything and he could improvise like a professional comedian.
When we would ask if we could go swimming, he always replied “Yes, as long as you don’t get wet!” When we would go over to his trailer in the backyard (inevitably asking for something), he’d always yell after us as we were leaving, “Stop by next time when you can’t stay so long!” There was a persistent argument we had where he would say “Hey Sarah! You’re a goose!” to which I would bark back “No! You’re a goose!” which would be met by his ever-persistent “NO! YOU’RE A GOOSE!” This would continue back and forth until inevitably one of us would walk away. I don’t think we ever resolved that argument before he died.
Papa had trained with the Army when radios were first beginning to be used, so his skills in technology were above average. He actually had a pretty successful television repair business on the panhandle of Florida before his business partner liquidated the inventory while my papa was recovering from a severe accident (which required a several-months-stay in the hospital). Over that period of time, everything he’d worked so hard to build was gone. Apparently, attempts were made to sue the guy that took the money and ran, but to no avail.
I never would have guessed life had betrayed Papa like that. Other than by the fact that he lived in a trailer in our backyard with my granny. I knew my dad was providing for them, but I always thought, “that’s what you do for your parents”. In my best estimate, Papa was a Sagittarius rising. To me, there is almost no way he was anything else, given his character. He towered over my blood relatives. All but two of his teeth were gone by the time I turned ten. He didn’t care, he still made everything a joke.
This made him a pleasant and jovial grandpa, but not a great role-model as a father for my dad. I think my dad tried to do the exact opposite. He is all work and no play. I’ve recently had a “Come to Jesus” moment with my dad, in which I bluntly told him that he’s killing himself by working too hard. In a sense, I wish he’d embrace this side of my papa instead of rejecting his influence whole-heartedly. Papa didn’t get by on hard work, he got by on charm. It’s not to say the man couldn’t work hard, but he enjoyed life and that was more important to him.
If I am right about Papa being a Sag rising, then he also had a Sagittarius moon. That doesn’t surprise me either. Its actually the same sign as my dad’s moon, which gives me hope. Hope that my dad can learn to embrace this free-spirited side again. Papa was born with Venus at the exact degree of my Ascendant, 11° of Gemini. That really warms my heart because its what I enjoyed most about Papa: his willingness to share his quick-witted humor as his love language.
November 14th 2014 at 2:00PM in Columbus, Georgia
In the hour leading up to my Papa’s death, Venus and the Sun surrounded Saturn in a triple conjunction in his 12th House of Scorpio, at the highest point of the sky. Scorpio is the sign of my dad’s ascendent.
Of Venus, Saturn, and the Sun:
Qualities of warmth, grace, and integrity, charming self-deference and modesty, loyalty and responsibility in one’s relationship life. — Coolness or inhibitions in reaching out, feelings of isolation and loneliness, a pursuit of prestige and materialism as substitutes for love, a tendency to measure self worth through one’ beauty or popularity.
That triple conjunction formed a square with Jupiter and the Moon, which were conjoined in his 9th House of Leo on the western horizon.
Of the Moon and Jupiter:
A rich and abundant emotional life, feelings of happiness, well-being and contentment, natural kindness and generosity, life-supporting human values. — Feelings of entitlement and excessive needs, the pursuit of material consumption or prestige as substitutes for love, craving for rich and fatty foods, emotional dramatics in everyday life.
Mars and Pluto were making an unaspected conjunction in his 2nd House of Capricorn.
Intense willpower and courage, drive and passion, determined efforts renew and regeneration, volcanic catharsis.
“These archetypes add forceful, dynamic, and volcanic elements to healing sessions, helping joureyers to get in touch with and express any buried aggressive feelings. As always during this process, it is important they stay on their mats rather than getting up and acting out in the external situation. Lying down is the safest and most effective position to experience every emotion fully.”
- Mars/Pluto, The Archetypal Universe, Renn Butler
I feel like I kind of know what Papa was experiencing at the time of his death and I believe these words by Renn Butler are very descriptive of the inner-conflicts he was facing then. They also reveal to me the potential impact the soul of my Papa had and continues to have on us.
Mercury was exactly conjunct my dad’s natal Mercury on that day (8° of Scorpio). The Sun was at 22° of Scorpio, exactly conjunct his natal Neptune. All in his 1st House. Venus at 27° (also in Scorpio) was exactly square to his Natal Moon (Sagittarius, where the Moon and Jupiter were, also).
The moon shining across a lake
The moon shining across a lake
Scorpio 8 (7° — 8°)
STILLNESS
The secret joy of the inner world is made available to those who know how to find peace through stillness
“Development of compassion and helpfulness through centering into peace”
Passion whether for outer attainment or knowledge of emotional processes is an overwhelming distraction and keeps the mind from stillness. It is in calm serenity that love finds its home and with it comes peace and joy. The idea that we need someone else in order to know love is false, as indeed is the quest for self-knowledge if it is based on the idea that it will produce contentment. Rather, we choose stillness and learn to find it through meditation and then notice that all else follows — worldly success, inner awareness and most importantly the presence of love, which we see wherever we look. Love is cause not effect; so is peace.
Rudhyar:
A CALM LAKE BATHED IN MOONLIGHT
Hunters starting out for ducks
Hunters starting out for ducks
Scorpio 22 (21° — 22°)
ASSIMILATION OF PRIMITIVE INSTINCTS
The animal nature is aggressive and cannot be easily tamed so needs to be accommodated somehow within normal social behaviour
“Accommodating instinctual drives”
There is the need to find a way to channel our baser instincts so that no harm is done to other individuals. The aggressive survival instinct in man cannot easily be ditched; indeed perhaps it should not be even if it could be. In an organism as complex as a human being who can say what would result from denying a powerful instinctual drive? Denied passions do not usually stay long hidden.
Military band on the march
Military band on the march
Scorpio 27 (26° — 27°)
SABRE-RATTLING
Periodic celebration of the nation’s power and substance further binds its citizens into the benefits of a social compact
“Building safe space though projection of personal atmosphere”
It may be unseemly to demonstrate achievement, and it appears to glorify aggression when this is done with a military aspect, yet the proclamation of ‘capacity for violence’ actually diminishes the use of it. Sabre-rattling is the human equivalent of an animal bearing its teeth, a behaviour whose purpose is to deter an enemy and limit the risk of attack.
Rudhyar:
A MILITARY BAND MARCHES NOISILY ON THROUGH THE CITY STREETS
