Self Authoring Virtues: Know how to go with the flow
I see this as an innate gift that I have always had: knowing how to go with the flow.
In order to be able to go with the flow, its important to know what flowing feels like. It is a state of self hypnosis; being so involved in the present moment that you lose track of time. When I think about flow, my mind returns to the liberation of releasing myself from the shackles of the corporate world. I sensed that the lifestyles was not for me because of the rigidity I felt in my life with such unforgiving expectations. It wasn’t that I could not meet the expectations, it was that I was miserable trying. The work I was doing felt meaningless. I didn’t care to talk about the same things as the people in those offices, and I was much less concerned with brand name clothes and niceties. In the midst of my mental breakdown during the lockdowns, I couldn’t take it anymore. I quit my job, despite the paycheck and benefits because I physically felt the effects of how it disrupted my flow. Doing so allowed me to move into working for my dad’s shop and becoming an Astrologer, two jobs I feel much more passionate about in different ways. Rather than dreading each day, I wake up looking forward to what interesting things life will have in store.
Alternative Outcome
Alternatively, I would have stuck with the job and figured out a way to make my life flow into a new position. For instance, though I would have felt miserable to begin with, I could’ve found something I was very passionate about to work on after work. This is actually what I currently do. I love working for my dad and carrying on a legacy of taxidermy, but I don’t feel very passionate about it. That isn’t to say I am completely uninterested in the art, its just that I see how hard the work is. When it comes to Astrology, I flow. So that is what I do when I get off work. This transition into my own business is happening seamlessly, as I help my dad prepare for his retirement plan and learn to run a business at the same time. These skills I am developing will be invaluable when I begin supporting myself in my Astrology business. I could have remained financially satiated if I had taken longer to make the transition from the corporate world.
“You never enjoy the world aright, till the sea itself floweth in your veins, till you are clothed with the heavens, and crowned with the stars.”
― Douglas E. Harding, On Having No Head: Zen and the Rediscovery of the Obvious
Finished up Meditation 17 and the dialogue about the book above afterward. I think this goes very well the entry for my self-authoring piece today.
Originally written in Collective Journaling at The Stoa
