Seeing & Observing

Bernadette Judaea
6 min readJan 16, 2023

The current transits are a good measurement for how attuned people are to the natural energy.

Photo by Thoa Ngo on Unsplash

This is like a blissful-ignorance barometer with Mercury, Mars, and Uranus all turning direct within the month of January. We should be feeling something. I understand that AsTrOlOgY iSn’T rEaL but this is actually one of those moments where I feel my intuition and I feel it in connection with others. Its only the people that have never studied Astrology that believe it has no place in our wisdom toolkit. I am more confident about my understanding of the feelings associated with certain energies because I have this language to describe what that is like. There will be some individuals that are so disconnected from how they feel (often burying their feelings behind all the work they need to do), they won’t even notice the shift, further proving themselves correct in their self contained echo-chamber.

It reminds me of this fiasco that happened when I was in 8th grade, that involved an expensive camera, a friend’s locker, and an imaginary flower. I was in a Newspaper Class in which we produced a newspaper that was distributed across the middle school. The year I attended this school, a newsworthy story actually took place. The gym (which was a giant inflatable building) popped, leaving nothing but the walls and ceiling that looked like melted plastic on the asphalt. We could see the deflated blob from the balcony breezeway of our outdoor hallway. I was reporting this story, so I needed to get a good picture and this was going to be the perfect place.

I had signed out the class camera to take the photo. For some reason (I was young and dumb), I loaned this camera to another student in the Newspaper Class. She was a friend and she needed to take pictures for her article, as well. Now, considering this happened in 8th grade, I don’t remember how that (probably stupid) conversation went. All I know is I got a phone call from the teacher of that class wondering where the camera was after school. I know in my head at that moment, I did not know where it was. Memory does not serve me well, because I recall going back to the school that day to look for it, but it could very well have been the next day. We found it in my friend’s locker. Somehow, her memory had failed her so epically that she forgot she’d left it there. Regardless, the camera was supposed to be turned in at the end of the day and it wasn’t. I’m sure our agreement involved someone turning it back in by the end of the day, but we didn’t.

We were called to the Vice Principal’s office. At this point, I was ready to take the punishment. In elementary school, I have this terrible memory of throwing someone under the bus. Not literally, but a friend took a “Reading Counts!” electronic test for me, and she got caught. I never fessed up and she took the punishment. It haunts me to this day. That memory infused me with martyrdom, and a willingness to go down and take the blame. I had it all worked out in my head for this instance with the camera, that I would accept whatever came.

I walked in to the office and my friend was already sitting across from the Vice Principal. She was a little nervous, I could tell. Perhaps he’d already scolded her for forgetting where the camera was. When I sat, I was lectured. There were words on a paper, I think the document I’d signed to check the camera out. Several scenarios were presented to me describing all the things that could have happened, all the things that went through the teachers’ minds, all the horror of who would’ve had to pay for it had the camera been stolen. I was forced to emotionally feel all of those feelings. Then it came down to figuring out what had happened.

Simply put, I fucked up. I was the one responsible for the camera because it was checked out in my name. That narrative was also my attempt to just pull the band aid off quickly. I wanted it to be over, the process of being scolded. I wanted to go ahead and get on with the punishment. Not my friend though. She apparently had her own story. She was ready to run a play that she did not let me in on.

She said to the Vice Principle, “It was like a flower…”. I remember a pause, because I distinctly remember not having a clue where she was going with this. “You know, you don’t see the petals, and the leaves, and the stem, you just see a flower. Well that was what it was like when I looked at my locker. The camera was there, but it was like the petals or the leaves of a flower.” Essentially, she told us that she’d looked right at it but didn’t see it. We both served lunch detention together that afternoon and the next.

This example of my friend not seeing the camera in her locker is what its like when I interact with people that don’t know the language of Astrology. Some people (like my friend), will have the epiphany and realize there was something they weren’t seeing. Most will continue on, only seeing flowers and not the leaves, petals, or stems, as my dear friend also reminded us. It makes me think of this time when Lizelle described the difference in using “Awakening to the Meaning Crisis” instead of “Awakening from the Meaning Crisis”. First we recognize there is a thing there to wake up to before we can ever wake up from it.

This new series by John Vervaeke, called After Socrates has us throwing around the word “midwifery”. First of all, the pronunciation of this word is going to take some getting used to, but its also interesting to me because I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what it means to be a Death Doula (an idea that was also brought to my attention here, at The Stoa). I remember hearing of this idea and really feeling like that is one of my roles here on the planet. To guide people through this process of dying. In fact, I find that the lead up to death has been some of my closest times with elders. I value their wisdom because it seems especially time sensitive.

In general, the bond we have with children holds some optimism. We know they have the opportunity to grow and become something, whatever they put their mind to. We have hope! With elders, its despair one day and a trip down memory lane the next. They’ve got the keys and you are just along for the ride. Which is interesting because the difference between doula and midwife is that the midwife is concerned with a healthy birthing process. They are medically trained and emphasize infant care. The doula is actually there for the mother. The doula provides mental, physical, and emotional support to the mother. It feels a lot like observing the transits to me. Gentle guidance and attention.

The mindset of planetary transits can provide us with seeing the long game. There is this pattern of planetary movements that is all based on time. Actually, it may even be more correct to say that time is roughly based on these movements. Our calendars are just a representation of how the sun and the moon move throughout the arbitrary time periods we made up. Birth, is a relatively short process, while death is long, drawn out, and unpredictable in so many ways. So, with that being said, for the acute epiphanies I can see the merit in midwifery but for the long-lasting awakening, I think I’ll assume my role as Death Doula for now, doing whatever I may do to make this Life (the lead up to death) more comfortable for she who birthed us all.

Originally written in Collective Journaling at The Stoa