Mars Retrograde-Shifting Gears
Mars is moving backward from our geocentric perspective and will continue to do so until January 2023.
When planets are retrograde they are closer to the Earth than when in direct motion. Retrograde is a period of introspection. In the case of Mars, it is our Eros. We are reviewing what we are passionate about. This is a particularly long Mars transit which happens once every two years. Its happening in the sign of Gemini. expect themes from earlier in the year to come up, especially things that happened in the month of September. That was when Mars was traversing through the sign of Gemini in direct motion. Excess energy manifesting as anxiety or heated discussions if not disposed of properly.
Depending on which House this is happening, some area of everyone’s life will reflect this energy. For me, this is happening in my first house: my body, my personality, the character in my storyline, the helm of my ship, the tools I have to navigate this plot. I can sense my Gemini gears downshifting. We are in the thick of the suspense right now. Mars is stationed for a few days at 25° of Gemini, its as if we are engaging the clutch to bust the u-turn. This part is all about technique. Buzz Lightyear comes to mind with, “This isn’t flying, its falling with style!”
Its Halloween. I have a reading and then will have some time off to recollect. Since leaving my job at the shop, I’ve done nearly a reading a day. There’s been no real time to stop and reflect on this decision to leave my steady source of income. I have no idea how I will make enough money to pay off my debts. Honestly, I wouldn’t need much were it not for my lines of credit. Even with Biden’s $20k, I have another $23k on top of that to pay off in student loan debt. Imagine how many wrong turns I took to get myself there. That’s the hole I have to dig out. It really doesn’t mean all that much to me, I have to admit. I carry it around like a big bag of shit. Its important here to remember that shit can become fertilizer when examined through a different lens.
Today I felt encouraged to look at jobs that would allow me to acquire a skill or knowledge that could be applied toward things I’d like to become. I’m very interested in building a food forest, and working with plants to grow my own food as a goal. There are a few plant nurseries nearby; one of them very close to the house. It would make the most sense to go to that one and ask if they need help. This is one way that my life would change. Since Mars is the ruler of my 6th House (Scorpio) and 11th House (Aries), and is in my 1st House. I can expect that my daily routines will be changing, along with who I am and my groups. Oh, and of course, I forgot to mention that Jupiter just moved back from a Mars ruled sign and is now retrograding through Pisces (home sign).
For months, I’ve been wanting to be able to pass the torch to someone at the shop. I had to get out because it was too constricting. Living with family, working with family, not driving further than 10 miles to get from home to work. I was suffocating myself. Now that the time has come to refocus around my life, I have to contemplate my desires. What makes my body say yes? What am I Divinely drawn to? A question that I shouldn’t take lightly. Sometimes my senses deceive me when I allow them to. So I am taking a giant pause. Its a deep breath moment when you allow the body to take over. Some part of you knows that you know what to do in order to drive. It is behavior that is learned over time and naturally becomes more comfortable, such that we even call this type of wisdom “second nature”.
It brings out a primal fear to be drifting in between solid jobs. How far do I want to push this? In reality, I’m not nearly proficient enough in Astrology or any other predictive toolkits to know when I’ll hit my next catastrophe. I hope it doesn’t happen anytime soon, but I am comfortable. I can observe that I am probably too comfortable. The trajectory of this path of eating donuts and staying cooped up reading all day is not the most fulfilled (although its pretty sweet). I long for this fear in a 9–5. I want this feeling of ‘aliveness’, but when it becomes the reality, it turns out my body is programmed much more deeply than my mind. Its important to allow for time to let the body heal.
That’s another thing that is in review for me during this cycle of Mars retrograde. I have knowledge of plants. I have biology information and I have holistic medicine wisdom. I’ve never felt comfortable presenting this in any formal way because I have no certifications. However, I was employed at a health food store that was co-owned by a Board Certified Naturopathic Physician providing recommendations on a radio show she co-hosted with her husband. I was required to learn her recommendations and to discover why certain herbs were in the formulas they concocted and sold. Looking back, I was training to be a witch but was coming from a scientific mindset. I was very careful with not making recommendations myself, but offering only the doctor’s suggestions that we had written on notecards in a box that was organized alphabetically by ailment or body part.
Five years I had free training as if I worked as an apprentice in an herbal school. The women I worked with were older than me and wise. I was surrounded by mature feminine intuition. When someone would walk in the store and ask what to take for something, we often times would have the recommendations memorized (as tends to happen when you use flash cards for learning). That’s a path I’ve walked. As a soul that is here for the experience, I want to take a different path now, I think. I want to be in the garden. I want to smell the Earth and watch the wildlife interact with my plants. I’ve worked with dead animals for so long now that I’ve been driven back to the joy of life. In those sweet memories I have of holding the lifeless bodies, I recognize that was another period of my life well spent learning a skill that somehow contributes to my perspective just by being something I’ll remember.
Originally written in Collective Journaling at The Stoa
