Impress the Subconscious
I don’t have a paying job, but I still work.
I am creating garden beds to be used in the spring. I hope that one day these gardens will be a food forest. This piece of property means a lot to me because my great grandma used to live next door and my dad grew up down the street. My maternal grandparents have lived here my entire life, and my sister and I would frequently visit as kids. I want to feed this land and care for her, as she has always held me. This is a passion project, and because of that, its just me doing the work. Sometimes I think if I had a boyfriend or at least an interested enough friend to work with me then the job would go by much quicker. However, I’m also starting to get a lot of satisfaction from impressing my own subconscious.
Ultimately, that’s what we are always trying to do. We are always trying to impress the subconscious, but sometimes we aren’t aware of which part we are entertaining. Sometimes we are not interacting with the part of our subconscious that is there to build us up or cheer us on. We may experience parts of our subconscious that have the power to forcefully break us down (often to bring about change). Especially if we are seeking validation from external sources, we replicate this with our subconscious. Rather than giving the subconscious the attention, we seek to find that attention from someone else. We inevitably do not get what we want and so we feel let down. We have to remember that we do not control other people. We can only control our responses.
For something that has such a profound impact on our lives, we tend to forget the subconscious mind even exists. It is clouded by our thoughts and all of the things that actually matter (like when that Prada bag is getting delivered, today or tomorrow??). That’s the thing about energy, we can’t really see it. Which is why I believe there are other things in this realm that we cannot see, and which may have powerful influence in our lives. The thing is, we cannot measure that which we do not have the tools to detect.
Problem solved, right? Things that we cannot detect & measure do not exist! Well, the truth is, there are a lot of discoveries still to be made. Evolution promises that there will always be new discoveries if we never lose our curiosity. We have to wonder, experience, and create. We have to allow ourselves to be free to have our own thoughts. Humility goes along way when it comes to human existence. Certain humans think they have all the answers, because they figured out how to work within the constraints of an already existing system.
I’m trying to be very careful here about how I express my moral superiority complex, but it is kind of falling out. I don’t believe it is the responsibility of any one human to endure discomfort for the collective (shouts to Jesus). I do think if we are concerned with impressing our subconscious, then we recognize we are just a part of a whole. Its interesting to me how those that see the duality of the mind are those that seem most whole. Those that believe they are their thoughts, feel incomplete.
I struggle with my own patterns of thoughts, but I am aware of my control over them. I can throttle them or I can make them completely disappear. I am not beholden to my mind. I am in relationship with my mind. We co-create and yet you only see me (the crazy one) working away without pay.
“And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.”
-Roald Dahl
Originally written in Collective Journaling at The Stoa
