Body Mind Spirit

For the first time in a long time I couldn’t get out of bed this morning.

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This is not like me. In fact, I usually can’t go back to sleep once I’ve woken up. I still feel a little groggy and my back is feeling tight. I stretched for a bit but I could definitely use a full on yoga session.

Funny- I’m sitting here looking at a pen from my dentist. Recently, I got a call from a collections agency informing me that they had been assigned my loan. I am not the kind of person that just lets bills go unpaid. I’ve been paying down my debts more diligently lately, but when I was in the corporate world I was even more tuned in to my budget. I found it odd that I would’ve just let a bill for nearly $900 fall completely off my radar. So I called the dentist and asked why it was that about two weeks ago they called to see if I was going to schedule an appointment but failed to mention this bill. The account manager informed me that there was a different team involved with billing. I actually know about revenue cycle in medical billing so I wasn’t too upset with her, but the fact that this system is completely impersonal is the real problem. It almost seems to be by design, even though one could argue that with the number of claims that are produced in some offices, this process is necessary. Even that fact seems .

When my grandparents were growing up, the community doctor made house visits. If the doctor messed up, everyone would know. This was enough motivation to keep malpractice at bay (with exceptions, of course). The healthcare system today is so complex, the very thought of organizing the documents is overwhelming. We have a specialized doctor for every organ and organ system. Until recently (with the advent of the internet), these provider notes were not even being exchanged between doctors. A patient could be taking medication with contraindications for another pill they were prescribed. It was the job of the pharmacist to work out that end of the puzzle. Maybe it isn’t so bad to have people specializing in different areas of our bodies and then some more that understand the potions… I mean prescriptions, but humans are not robots. We are not made of individual parts that can work independent from one another by just being exchanged for new ones. I don’t feel very assertive about that thought because my cousin who lived into his thirties with cystic fibrosis got two new lungs after his were infected beyond repair.

It just seems like there is more to be cared for that we aren’t recognizing. The mind, the spirit… some sort of essence that I can’t explain. The Observer of the Observed Mind needs to be observed, too. In other words, that part of our mind that is overseeing our actions needs to be recognized sometimes. We what is good and what is bad for us. That is the part of the mind that I am talking about. It is the part of our mind that is innately gifted with caring for us. Because there is this mind from which we operate that says “One chocolate bar won’t hurt”, “One cigarette won’t hurt” and we can begin to identify with that to the point that we think it is who we are. But it isn’t completely who we are, no more than the accounting department of my dentist’s office is responsible for the entire operation.

The question I have: to what extent is it important for the individual to know how to care for themselves? I think the happy medium between everyone needing to know everything and there being specialists for every body part is to have general practice doctors. However, we obviously lose out as a collective if there are not specialists to explore deeper into certain conditions that only affect one part of the body. This is the question I have because I have been thinking of the same thing with regards to religion. Is it important to stick with one traditional path in order to be awarded the benefits of what it is to practice spirituality? Do we lose something when we attempt to combine different rituals from various spiritual practices? How is it possible for someone to be a modern human and also dance naked around a fire sipping cacao? I find that I feel like I am putting on a show sometimes when I try to participate superficially in these traditions even though I find them to be so important to the human experience.

So I settle on the idea of curating: going around and documenting what other people get out of their traditions, at the risk of not getting to truly experience what it would be like to have a direct connection with the Divine. Attaching myself to a single religion or spiritual practice feels like its the opposite of the point. If I am to release myself and dissolve into the ether of oneness, why is it so important to specialize? The answer seems to be.. so that we can continue to preserve those traditions in their purest form. The forms that got us to here. By that I mean, the strategies that humans used to move into the future. If we all get to decide what parts of the ancient cultures were adaptable, better be sure we are picking the right practices.

Originally written in Collective Journaling at The Stoa

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